I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
