Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
