i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
