dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
