Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
