Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
