I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
