BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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