I'm really into asian looking animals
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
