so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize