you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
