You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Randomize
