On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
