So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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