You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
