I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
