I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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