So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
These tits shall not be calmed
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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