so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
