theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
