At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
