Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
