So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
