I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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