So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
