I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
