i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
