rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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