I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
pop tarts are not kleenex
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
