Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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