There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
