I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
