i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
