kristin has been a bad kristin
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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