i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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