and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
