he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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