that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
