they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I need to sanitize my soul.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
