I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
