you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
