it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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