Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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