i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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