she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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