You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
