I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
