I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
