I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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