do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
