just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
