when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
