Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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