I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
