No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
